You may say I'm one of the most ambitious persons you know, a dreamer/daydreamer who feeds herself the impossible, an enthusiast who chases after an illusion. Say whatever you want.Ambitious? Dreamer? Enthusiast? Yes. But I'm not feeding myself the impossible and I know I am not chasing after an illusion.
Years ago, within the four corners of what seemed to be an infinitesimal room, a little girl was trying to finish her very first poem. After sifting through the dictionary word by word, finding what would best embody the emotion I was feeling...At last! My first poem was produced and with that, a dream was born.
When I was younger, I wanted to be a cardiologist. But as I grew older, I realized it wasn't really what I wanted to do.
Things and people change, so as dreams...I thought. It all just became clear to me after I've written that poem...I want to be a writer.Days, months and years went on and I continued writing. Poems to essays to stories. I don't know why but writing somehow makes me happy. There are a lot of things/thoughts which are hard to convey verbally and that's where writing takes place. As a camera captures moments, so does writing. It captures thoughts and feelings. You write about something happy that has happened to you and after days or even years, you go and read it again and it still contains that same happy vibe, because that's what you were feeling when you wrote it. It records emotions.
Anyway, I started joining essay competitions when I was in grade 6. I remember my dad would always help me with my essays because I always asked him to. But there were also times when I did it all by myself. I've won in several inter-school competitions but of course, I also experienced defeats. There was a time when I lost one competition after another. But it didn't keep me from trying again.That's how life works after all, you win and you lose. The fear of failing should never paralyze you. I remember this quote from one of my favorite movies (A Cinderella Story), "
Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."
And true enough, I was awarded Writer Of The Year when I graduated from high school. Though for some, it was just a small award or it was given to me just for the crap of anything...For me, it was the highlight of my high school life because for me, it was the start of my writing career...well, a stepping stone, perhaps.
I haven't mentioned that I'm a bookworm, have I? I love reading as much as I love writing. Whenever I finish reading a book, I always think of how awesome it would be to publish my own one. So, during my freshman year in high school, I started writing my own novel. Even though I was just starting its first chapter, my friends would borrow the notebook and read it when I wasn't writing. To my surprise, a lot of them loved it and kept telling me I should finish it already. That was the first time I felt confident about my dream. I wrote few pages and there was a good response.
Maybe, just maybe, I really do have a knack in writing...I thought.
But unfortunately, I didn't get to finish my first book (or shouldn't I say "first book" since I haven't finished it?) OK. let me rephrase that.
But unfortunately, my FIRST ATTEMPT in writing my first book failed. I lacked focus and I lost the notebook. Too bad.
I will be humble enough to admit that a lot of times, in different areas of my interests, I didn't get to finish what I started because I lacked focus. There's always something new that'd interest my attention so I leave something unfinished and move on to a new one and the same thing happens again and again.But as I grew older, the more lessons I've learned. One of those is having focus in what you do. I love writing so much and I don't see myself doing anything other than writing in the future.
Speaking of the future... I see myself writing lots of books and even articles. Of course, I see them as "#1 New York Times Best Seller" books (mehehe). And then, big companies like Warner Bros. Pictures, Universal Studios, 20th Century Fox, Paramount Pictures, etc. would be making films adapted from my book!!! :D Also, I'd like to work in The New York Times reviewing/criticizing/writing books and articles. I also want to be a screenwriter for films which will be nominated in the Oscars for best picture and I'll be nominated as best screenwriter and perhaps even win the awards! All my books/films would be encouraging/inspiring/eye-opener, something that will have a huge impact on the readers'/viewers' lives. My goal is to draw people near to God and to glorify His name through my crafts.
Some people say my dreams are way too high to achieve. I even remember someone said I'm not even good in writing so why should I even bother trying? Some say I'm feeding myself some kind of illusion. Some say I'd just fall to being a small time writer in a small type newspaper. Some say I'd go nowhere. Some said it jokingly, some said it matter-of-factly. It doesn't matter what way, what does is that they said it. The problem with some people is that they don't know how much their words affect the person they said those words to. Even if they said it jokingly, they have no idea how deep it goes down to a person's heart. They never know...they've crushed dreams, they've killed someone's potential to become better, to become who he/she wants to be. Well fortunately, I'm not the kind of person who gives up too soon. But not all aspirants are strong enough. So please, stop crushing dreams. Instead, be an encourager. You never know how much a simple "You can do it", "Don't give up", "You're good at this" can contribute in building that person's self esteem and dreams. Constructive criticism is great but you have choices on how to say it...PLEASE choose the nicest way.
Anyway, before I finally end this... I just want to say that I'm never gonna give up this dream. There was a point in my life when I almost believed what people said about me and I prayed that may God remove the desire of writing in my heart if it isn't His will for me. Years passed, the same desire still lingers in my heart. I believe He's going to use me through my skill. So, if you're reading this and deep down there in your heart you have a desire to do something, pray about it. Don't let others' mean words bring you down. God made you with a purpose for a purpose. If people say your dreams are way too high...well, tell them maybe that's because God's plans for you are that way too big! :D
With God, all things are POSSIBLE.
-Matthew 19:26
P.S. I am now working on my "first" novel (and I'm praying for a lot of focus and that may I finally finish it!!!!)
Haters, discouragers...I can't hear what you're saying :p
