beyond

If there's one thing I've learned from my recent experiences... it's this. 

I am a very judgmental person. 

There are times when I dislike someone only because of a hearsay. Others, I loathe because of the way they act around people. More often that not, I tend to judge the person too soon even before I get to know him/her. 

There's this girl in one of my class before who was hated by numerous girls because of the way she acted around guys. There were plenty of nasty words people used to describe her - flirt, bitch, whore are just some. They were hurtful words. Of course, the girl felt bad. She didn't understand why such things were being accused to her when she had done nothing wrong. Well, yes, she was close to most of the guys. Too close that you'd think she was really flirting with them. At some point, yes I do admit I almost hated her as well. But during an event, I found out the reason behind her actions. That was when I realized I was being unfair. People were being unfair to her. Her dad left their family when she was younger. She rarely sees her dad because he has his own family now. Growing up, she lacked a father figure. She didn't know what it felt like to be loved and protected by a man. She was deprived of something wonderful girls around her experienced. So for that reason, she sought to find what she was lacking in the presence of guys around her. She liked the feeling of being surrounded with men for they gave her the sense of security. Around these guys, she felt protected. She longed for that attention her biological father was not able to grant her. She was just longing for love, sense of security and attention from someone she loved and longed for. But unfortunately, this someone had left her. So she had to find somebody else to fill in.

My point here is that, like the girl in my class, people have histories. Some may have wonderful ones, but there are some who have horrible pasts. Most of the time, the way people act is a product of what they have gone through. Of course, yes, it is a human nature that we are quick to judge. But let us put in mind that people have histories. There's always a story behind every person's action. Someone may act stupidly or annoyingly, but before you decide to hate the person, I think it's possible to consider his/her past first. And after that, then maybe you can help the person change for the better even just in the littlest way. I mean, yes I know it's easier said than done. But that is why I am telling you this. It is possible. I've done it. Of course you'll meet people who will really challenge your patience and understanding. We will fail, at times, no matter how much we try to understand. But just try. Try to look beyond the surface. It might just change your whole perspective about everything.