I know this is quite queer... but I can't just contain all my emotions at the moment. With all the things I've learned recently about true love, I can't help but feel a pang of guilt. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've been impatient. I've given my emotions, which should be reserved for you alone, away to people who don't rightfully own it. I have done things with the wrong people, things which should only be experienced with you. I have opened myself up to the wrong people emotionally and spiritually, when I should have waited to express myself in the most intimate way with you and you alone. And I am so sorry for letting them defraud you of these things. In the same way, I have also defrauded their future spouses of the same things. I am so sorry for stealing hearts away, and for letting the wrong people steal mine away.
But fortunately, there's this amazing God who is so mighty He was able to put and restore pieces of my heart together again. I know I've sinned against you, but more than anyone, I know I've sinned most against Him. But with just one call, He bestowed me forgiveness... the kind of forgiveness that remembers my sins no more. It was so beautiful. And because of this, I am constantly inspired to keep moving forward as His new creation. Because of Him, I am encouraged to keep striving for purity - in both areas of physical and emotional. I have been so foolish to rush love, to write my own love story that I forgot the Love himself has the power to create the best one for me. How foolish was I to think that I could rival with the greatest Author in all history? But one could never comprehend His power to forgive and love the undeserving. And so, it is just proper to do the same. I forgive you, my love. Perhaps you've also doled your heart away to the wrong girls in the past. Perhaps at this very moment, you are holding the wrong person's hand, kissing the wrong lips, addressing those three words to the wrong recipient. It is not the best thing to imagine, but I know that it is possibly the exact scenario taking place right now, wherever you are. But know that when the time comes, I will look at you intently with same love and forgiveness God has given me.
And I will wait for you. I have said this thousands of times before, and many times I've failed. Along my previous waiting experience, I came across few guys which made me compromise. But that was because I didn't have God with me on the journey. This time, I am more determined than I ever was to wait for you. I know that this time, I am not depending on my own strength but in His. I am fully aware that this is going to be hard, and there will be many times when I will be tempted to compromise again. But please be comforted that I will not,ever again, settle for any less. Be comforted that even at this very moment, I am already committed to you.
I promise to withhold all the emotions and all forms of intimacy from any person until you come along, until God says it's time. And through Him, no matter how ugly the past was, I know that my future with you is going to be a beautiful adventure. Everything is going to be so beautiful and lovely. Everything will feel like first times, again. There are so many wonderful things to do... from watching marvelous sunrises and sunsets, having silly talks and deep conversations about life, chasing the end of the rainbow, counting constellations, overcoming fears, to exploring and capturing the beautiful things of the world... And man, I choose to experience it all with you and you alone. It will be so lovely having to be so intimate with someone I'm certain I'll spend the rest of my life with. And whilst we grow deeper into our relationship,we will also grow deeper together into our relationship with the One who crafted our story. I am so thrilled. Marriage is going to be so beautiful. And when that moment comes, we'll both know that the Author of love has written a far more beautiful story than any other film or book one has ever created.
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